Outward Directed and Inward Silent Stress/Anger
We are all human beings, with different emotions, that need to interact with one another to solve situations.
In some situations, certain people manage to elicit an undesirable anger response from within you, which will negatively affect your ability to work effectively.
But the reality of anger, is that it has nothing to do with the person that elicited the anger.
Directing your anger towards that person, whether it be in an external or silent internal manner, is a futile cause, because it won’t solve your situation on letting others know your personal boundaries.
This could actually harm your reputation among peers while consuming your energy and emotions.
Meanwhile the other person continues with "life as is", however they be unwilling to work with you in future and you may have damaged your relationship.
There are many reasons for stress/anger.
Firstly, the physical issues
- not enough sleep,
- anger induced by muscular spasms etc
Secondly, if your anger is caused by
- frustration with work process
- interpersonal skills
- communication skills
Only then will we examine the Emotional Issues.
Anger is your Subconscious Protection Mechanism
An analogy would be:
If you had been burnt, as a young child, because of that painful physical and emotional experience, your subconscious mind will do anything to avoid "the fire", in future situations.
Perhaps in your youth, you experienced a particular situation, which produced an “extreme emotional pain”.
Then, because your parents did not "work" with your emotions appropriately, your subconscious buries it deeply and will cause you to avoid from re-experiencing that emotional pain again.
If a person or situation, although in a different form, may elicit that a similar “extreme emotional pain” within you again, your subconscious will :-
(a) totally avoid that situation
(b) will deny/prevent you accepting that “extreme emotional pain” you are facing, by redirecting it as anger or blame.
(c) or detrimentally, you could over compensate to the person/situation that can reignite the "extreme emotional pain". This would further reinforce the circular concept of "avoidance mechanism".
Now your subconscious has succeeded in avoiding / preventing the re-experiencing of that “extreme emotional pain”.
Anger is an Avoidance Mechanism.